Real Mums Guide to Exercise (Walking) for Other People
February 6, 2009 by babyunivers
Filed under Baby Articles
Women are renowned for their ability to multi-task. Mums can do it better. WAY better. Like looking after our mental, emotional and physical health, and that of our families, checking the post office box, grabbing the latest paper and/or gossip mag, getting the baby to sleep, catching up with friends and obtaining our morning latte …
We do this by going for a walk. Much can be achieved by doing this. In fact, all of the above and more can be done in a mere 40 minute brisk walk. Just the one walk. The operative word is “briskâ€.
That’s right. We’re in a hurry! So here is a guide for Other People – ie You! – for Exercise (Walking):
- You – Old Lady in head to toe black, we get that your husband died sometime in the last 800 years but surely there is some kind of end to the mourning period which no longer gives you the right to take up the entire footpath and walk really, really slowly!;
- You – ok, we can see you’re young and clearly don’t have kids. We know this because you’re out running for fun, have a great bod and you look like you got some sleep last night. But please, please get yourself a decent bra! Trust us, you’ll thank us for this advice in the very near future;
- You – lady who is off to work! Go To WORK! And stop chatting with the bloke at the coffee bar and doing that step away step back thing. And if you do wanna chat, please don’t stand in the middle of the footpath while you’re doing it;
- You – old man with walking stick. You’ll find it much easier and quicker to walk if you walk to one side, with the walking stick beside you, not in the middle of the path wit your walking stick out to one side, and you’re arm counter-balancing you sticking out the other!;
- You – Lady who can’t get her act together and is running late and comes flying around a corner in your car. I know it takes a mere portion of a millisecond to use your indicators to let people know that you are turning (thus the title “indicatorâ€) but please use it for the safety of my baby. And don’t get shirty with us because you are running late!;
- You – yes, you, the “madly in love†young couple ambling up the street holding hands. We think it’s lovely that you are young and in love and uninhibited in holding hands in public, but is it necessary to take up that much room? Or to walk that slowly. Yeah, you’ll be in our shoes one day, just you wait.
Not all of us have all the time in the world. We are in a hurry … whether it’s to get home in time of Oprah, work on our multi-million dollar enterprise or just make sure the kids are still alive and/or in one piece after leaving them with their dad for half an hour.
This Guide will go a long way to ensuring not on the health and well-being of Real Mums and their families, but also yours. A time poor, stressed Mum is not in your best interests. Particularly if you have delayed her caffeine fix.
For everyone’s sake, please, get out of our way.
Written by Mad Cow, wife, mother, writer and founder of realmums.com.au and multi-tasker extraordinaire. Especially when a decent latte is involved – stop her from getting one and you may wind up severely injured. You’re also lucky she has a real live baby in that pram she’s a-pushing, otherwise you could end up with a lovely new hood ornament.
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